by Kat on May 7, 2012
People worldwide repeatedly ask questions about how to heal after an abusive relationship. And I’m reminded of the 3 B’s: Boundaries, Berries and Bouncing.
Boundaries Begin with Self Boundaries
We’ve all heard of the importance of cultivating clear boundaries to offset the dysfunctional dynamics of abusive relationships. Yet, many people convince themselves that this means learning to say “no” to other people. My belief is that it all begins with saying “yes” and saying “no” first to oneself.
We are with others as we are with ourselves. And we train others how to be with us by the way we are with them. Today is my birthday and I’m taking this day in silence so as to set my new year intentions from a platform of stillness within.
Now the commitment I made to myself for this day is that I’d only do things that support my being in a place of expanded well-being for the duration of the whole day.
Even I find it interesting that I would sit down to write in the context of that plan for today. It tells me that the writing part of this business is clearly the gem…the bloodline… It’s the part that keeps me alive in this Internet business. [click to continue...]
by Kat on May 2, 2011
Does your mental focus really energize the universe to bring to you the desires of your heart? Many who teach the Law of Attraction swear it happens just that way. But do we by our mental focus really become a magnet? Or, is there a more logical explanation?
There is no denying that people who are clear and persistent in their thinking receive the things that they desire. Receiving or becoming what you think about is not new. We were designed by the Creator that way. As it says in the Bible, “as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” [click to continue...]
by Kat on March 17, 2011
Think about it. When have you been at your very best? Isn’t it true that high achievers hit that ‘zone’ when they’re totally focused on achieving their goals? All the books, articles, videos and workshops on goal setting talk about the future ‘ after all, you’ll only achieve your goals at some point in the future. If that’s the case, why do so many personal development ‘gurus’ emphasize the paramount importance of the here and now? [click to continue...]
by Kat on February 3, 2011
Improve listening skills is an extraordinary skill to develop, which pays great dividends in personal relationships.
The one downside that I have discovered is that if folks get a sense that I can do this, and because so few of us do it well, I am invited to listen and listen and listen, even when my four year old daughter is demanding my attention. So listening well demands that I be able to set boundaries (“Can you excuse me for a moment, my daughter is setting fire to the cat…, I’ll be right back.”)
But improving listening skills can be done. When I am teaching my domestic violence education groups, I teach listening skills by modeling, and by discussion. But the first step in listening in to make a mental commitment to doing just that. The next step is to realize that listening is a dynamic process, and I will get distracted, day dream, etc, and actually not hear, and that the process is retrievable with a question to repeat. [click to continue...]
by Kat on November 17, 2010
You are the creator of your own version of reality. Decades of psychological research prove beyond doubt that how you think controls how you behave and how you behave creates your life. Your mood dictates how you feel about every situation and every person that you encounter in your life. Your mood dictates how you react to every perceived opportunity, threat, compliment or insult. And, unfortunately, at this moment in time, you are incapable of controlling your own mood because it is automatically dictated by your subconscious mind. And the bad news is that, left to its own devices, your subconscious mind will always focus on what a psychologist would call your “stored knowledge” – everything that you learned about how the world works and, most importantly, everything that you learned about yourself – way back during your formative years. In other words, your life today is entirely dictated by things that happened to you or for you years or decades ago.
Since the early decades of the last century, research has, time and again, concluded that so-called normal people are simply not capable of paying any attention to what is actually happening before their very eyes. Sure, normal people really think that they know what’s going on, but [click to continue...]
